Oh, hey, ya. STILL alone at home. house so quiet. I'm getting scared right now. Been staring at the screen for too long. My eyes are getting square and my head is spinning. My pet cat not entertaining me. It is asleep for hours. Damn it. I'm bored. I'm sad. I'm alone. I'm feeling cold. Wish I had the guts to pick up the phone and call somebody to entertain me. It is too quiet. Nobody can call me nor msg me. My phone service is really DEAD. It will remain as silent as it is until my mother pay the full amount. Which is on 8 June. Woah. My B'Day is on 15 June. I can't wait baby! But I know what I'll get from my parents. Money. $$$. Even my aunts give me $$$. But I spend the money too quickly. I'm just not a money-saver. When I see money, I'll spend it. If you give me $1000 today, I can spend it all in a few hours. But today, I managed to save $1+++. What an achievement for me! Congrats to myself! I did it! I saved more than a dollar! But sad to say, it will be gone soon. If you know what I mean. Still alone. Still bored. Still sad. Still feeling cold. There is nothing I can do. Just now I sang songs damn loudly. And I took a video of myself. Eeeyyerrr. I suck. Blek. But the songs rock. I can't sleep. Tomorrow need wake up at 7.45am. Go school help out. Then need help out at wedding also. Many things to do tomorrow ya? It is all very tiring. And frustrating. I wonder what is gonna happen to the $30 I will get tomorrow. All spent in 1 day? Maybe. I'll try saving abit. Give some to my mother. If not, starve to death. Choi. I don't mean that. It is now 10.40. Still alone. How could they do this to me? I want to call somebody. But I think it will feel awkward. I normally don't talk to people. I text them. I will feel uncomfortable if people start talking to me on the phone or face-to-face. I tell you it will definitely feel awkward. Nothing to do now. I won't stop typing here. This is just to entertain myself. Ily whoever you are. I don't know your name though. Haha. I should stop liking girls already. I'm tired of making a fool out of myself. Blek. Suck ass. I'm a big fucking JERK. I'm a big fucking SHOWOFF. I'm get emotional too fucking easily. I'm getting too proud of my fucking self. These are my characteristics. I know I'm like this. I'm a fool. It is hard to change. Or maybe I should just be myself. I'm scared I'll hurt people's feelings. Damn it. I'm lame. I'm pathetic. I suck to the core baby! I'm a bit sensitive. I'm unfair. You hit me once I'll hit you thrice. I can insult you but you can't insult me. That is how I act in front of my friends. I'm scared it will make them pissed. I'm starting to get pissed about myself too. I should change. But I don't how to. Somebody help me. They say I'm a good-hearted person. Well, the boys don't say that. The girls in my class do. Some of em'. That, I thank you for complimenting me. I tried. I just want to make people happy. That is all I ever wanted to do. I treasure my friendship. I hate losing a friend. It is like losing a life. It hurts. My neck hurts. It is aching like hell. 10.55. Going to 11.00. Yet, I'm still alone. My longest post ever written. I feel tired. My cat just woke up. I think it is hungry. You know what? I'm hungry too. Someone is at the door. I think it is mom. Yay! Someone is home. At last! Alright, I'll stop here. Goodnight.

Labels: I'm scared